A Fresh Start...without "IT"

In my last post, I stated that I would share my “State of My Union Address” in my upcoming posts. After mulling this over, and attempting to capture the drama and impact of the live presentation in “blog format,” I realized the story is better served “live and in full color.” There is too much emotion, nuance, texture and heart in this story to properly put this into the written word. I just do not have the skill or focus to successfully achieve this task. So, I invite you to invite me to perform live at your event or function to soak up and enjoy this transformational “shift-filled” presentation.

I will however share some insights into the revolutionary and uplifting “shift” that has taken me to the healthful state I currently enjoy.

Here is an excerpt from my presentation:

In a heartbeat, I felt the SHIFT. People who know me noted a dramatic change. All I could tell them in answer to their questions about this change was that I felt like I had returned. 

As best as I can understand this shift, it had to do with the “f word.” Yes, faith. Being faithless was my problem. By that I mean, from the start of this journey, whatever I said “yes” to, all I got back in return was a whole lot of NO NO and NO. And then there was a lot I was saying “no” to with many voices screaming back YES YES and YES. So, I got a yes to my no, a no to my yes when what I needed was a yes to my yes, a no to my no. So I wavered and I got mixed up with my own yes to my no and a no to my yes. I was yes and no, no and yes! I didn't have a clear yes or a clear no about anything—just a no to the yes to the no against my yes to the no! Meaning NO! Yes? Yes, I got stuck, really stuck. I knew it but I didn’t know how to get unstuck. God, where would my freedom come from?

You never know where or when or if that divine grace is going to show up. For me, my grace came in the form of a very strange and unexpected knowing from reading and experiencing Dr. Alejandro Junger’s CLEAN program.  When Dr. Junger spoke in his book, (so clearly and eloquently,) I was finally given permission to KNOW WHAT I KNOW. I was validated for my feelings and beliefs. My humanity had been restored. At that point, a shift had begun.  Now “they” can all SAY NO and I can SAY YES and if they give me a no to my yes, I can now say yes to my yes and mean it and own it. That is a feeling I have. It is a real feeling, like an alignment, not a brain alignment though. It is an alignment that comes from some other part of me—a breathing, life-giving alignment.  I am not thinking this into being.

      So where did that yes/no/no/yes stuck-ness sit?

Everywhere.

How did it affect me?

   In every way.  

This stuck-ness left me rigid and lost. It was a stuck-ness I couldn’t lift out of and I had no idea where it had originated. What was supporting it? Where was the source?  I knew “in my mind” all kinds of things that weren’t helpful or forward moving or healing. And in my mind, in my “thinking,” I knew how to adjust to “proper thoughts,” positive thinking, right action, and all the stuff that was “supposed” to heal me, to free me: yoga and dance and writing and meditation and nutrition and on and on. Still, nothing seemed to budge.

 It wasn't until I had the actual experience of being lifted out of this stuck-ness that I understood where it sat on me, in me, about me, and how it had been affecting me.  It was running right through me, from head to toe, and all around. More specifically, and more importantly, I knew what that blockage held. It held ENERGY. Some call it spirit, creative force, life breath—that which makes me me! I now understand “energy” in a “moving way,” a powerfully moving way—a way that makes things shift, and life returns.

During this transformational time, I was suddenly drawn to the teachings of spiritual teachers and healers. I found myself reading Caroline Myss’ work again. She is the world renowned medical intuitive, author and teacher. I had read her classic book, “Anatomy of the Spirit,” years ago but as I read it a second time it was as though I had not grasped anything she said previously. It all came to me with such clarity and truth this time around.

Here she speaks of “aquisitioners,” those of us who get hooked on things, things like people, objects, ideas, “systems,” and beliefs: 

 “Personal power is necessary for health. I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough: the targets to which ‘acquisitioners’ connect their energy circuits are people or objects to which they have surrendered their power—specifically the power to control them.

(Healing in my case was beyond MY reach because MY power existed OUTSIDE the boundaries of MY physical body.)

Aquisitioners inevitably find using their intuition extremely difficult. So attached is their self-esteem to the opinion/rulings of the power target that they automatically negate any information that their own intuition transmits to them. Clear intuition requires the ability to respect your own impressions.”

And clear intuition is crucial on this life journey. Whether we are healing our bodies, helping our children, or making business decisions, it’s intuition that tells us what’s what, who’s who, where, how and WHY. Intuition is real.
 
Through this health-changing shift, I realized something else. Here’s the really cool thing:

I don't believe in “IT!”

Thyroid disease doesn’t even exist.  I just don’t “feel IT” anymore.  I don’t have thyroid “dis-ease.”  This was not an intellectual decision I had consciously willed into being. I just woke up a short time after being “enlightened” and having my “faith restored,” and realized I no longer carried that “label” anymore. “It” had really left. It was like a belligerent neighbour had moved out of the neighbourhood.  The noise and garbage and toxicity had packed up and left town.  A noticeable peace, optimism and wellness came over me.

Do I still have a compromised physical "body" (not thyroid) that needs care and attention? Yes. But now I can receive proper care, giving myself my clear and undivided attention, seeking and enjoying all things "wellness related" versus things that perpetuate illness. Thank God for that!

This is all so strange and wonderful because if you recall one of my strongest wishes ever, clearly posted on my web page, has been to “remove thyroid disease from the list of possibilities.”

Amazingly, it seems I have. It is no longer on my list.

 All along, despite my “basic intelligence” in this matter, I was still thinking that this would happen in some concrete tangible way, that removing thyroid disease from the list would take another pill (hmm, insanity?) or an operation, or something that I could grasp, something we could all shake our heads to and say, “Uh huh, yes, I see, that makes sense because I can see it and touch it.” But, like all things I have been able to “grasp,” external reference points, things that come in bottles that came from funding that came from business interests that came from greed that came from fear-based thinking, well, those products would NEVER cut it. 

It had to come to me this way. 

I now wish for a spark of divine grace to land on the shoulders of all who are praying for a shift back to themselves.

     I would like to "add" that to the list of possibilities.

Always,

Bea True 

For bookings of “The State of My Union Address,” inquire here.

Next up:
Pics and details from the 2012 Wild Woman Maui Retreat which wrapped last week, featuring everything Bea loves for health and wellness in one glorious week on Maui!